Chapter 13

Our First Time, Well, Sort Of

Even though we drifted to sleep easily, we just couldn’t stay in that position long because it was actually pretty uncomfortable after a while.  Strange how those things go, isn’t it?

I woke up after my vision-dream and gently nudged Casey awake.  As he stirred and opened his eyes a bit, I said to him, “let’s get a little more comfortable, ok?”  We were both really tired after our day at the zoo in the sun and then the emotional events of the evening.

Someone nudged me awake.  Where was I?  I had been dreaming, but I couldn’t remember any of it.  I was lying in……Matt’s bed!  And it was Matt waking me up!  So everything had really happened that night!

I agreed with him that we should get more comfortable.  I hope it meant like really, really comfortable.  But, it was only just a bit more comfortable.  Matt took off his shirt, shoes, socks and shorts.  Leaving on only a pair of skimpy dark blue briefs.  I could see the outline of his equipment, even though he wasn’t completely hard.  It made me hard, to be sure!

As he turned back toward me, I was expressionless.  I had never been so close to him with as much of his beautiful body being near-totally exposed.  It was almost too much for me.  I still thought to myself, “this must be all a dream or something!”  I was nearly frozen in time just staring at him.

“Come on now,” he said.  “I want to see what you look like underneath.”  He smiled.  I melted internally into a puddle on his bed.  In reality, I disrobed slowly down to my own white briefs.  Not as skimpy as his, but just as tight.

“Oh wow, you are even cuter without clothing,” he smirked as he said it.  And then, there we were, both of us in our underwear, sitting on his bed.  If there was a heaven, this was it.

“Want to see more?” I asked.  “Not yet.  I know it sounds weird, but I want to wait a bit.  Going too far, too fast might be a bad thing.”  He might be right.  We had just declared our feelings for each other like an hour or so before.  Well, more like confirmed our feelings.  “But,” he said, “I’m game for anything else.”  He smiled, that cute boyish smile that I loved.

“Well, then I’m gonna do something that I’ve wanted to do since I first saw you in your Speedo.”  I stared down at his chest.  His beautiful, toned, hairless, swimmer’s chest.  And this time, I didn’t feel I had to turn away or anything.  Matt was mine now, and I was his.

And for the first time in my life, I touched another boy.  At least, on purpose!  And this was my boy.

I slowly lifted my hands up and placed them on Matt’s upper chest, one on each breast.  I massaged his nipples with my thumbs.  I could feel as they got a little hard themselves.  His tanned skin was so smooth and perfect….this was probably better than sex!  Even as just being a freshman, with the amount of swimming, cross-country and time spent in the gym, Matt had incredible muscle definition.  He flexed his chest up a bit so I could feel all the tiny ripples under his skin.  I looked back up at him and he gave me that boyish smirk of his and I thought I would explode right there.  Something though, allowed me to hold back.

He was so entranced in feeling my body, and I was so lost in the moment of being his first.  Little did he know just how far and long this relationship would go.  At this point, I couldn’t have even known how far and in love we would become.  Casey was in pure ecstasy by just massaging my chest and rubbing my nipples, it was so cute!  He then moved his hands to my sides, and slowly caressed my upper body up and down.  As he hit a ticklish spot, I giggled and pulled back an inch or two.  The look on his face was priceless!  I bet he thought I didn’t like what he was doing or something.

“It’s ok!  I’m ticklish just like everybody else, I’m sure I’ll find your ticklish spots sooner or later,” smiling as I said it.  At that point, he appeared to melt back into his euphoric state and continued massaging me.

As his massaging had continued, I started to get some very subtle energy and emotional sensations.  They were much like I would get during encounters with toilets or while talking to them.  In fact, they reminded me of the days and weeks leading up to my first flush experience.  As I wondered this in my mind, the toilets were picking up on it: “It’s starting.  Very slow, but it’s starting.”  “What?” I ask.  “Your connection.  To him.  In the beginning, you’ll feel very little of him, but it will be just enough.  At ‘The Event’, you both will be linked and you’ll have to teach him about it.  We, of course, will help him too.”

“OK,” I thought.  The toilets continued, “He’s about to make a very important move, just go with it.  Reach out to the energies and emotions that you are feeling from him and you’ll know how to react.”  “Hmm,” that was really interesting.  “So, how is it that you all know all of this?”  “When he touched his first toilet and was so curious about it, we established a link to him, in only one direction.  It’s how we know how to advise you in bringing you two closer together.  He’s almost ready….watch for his move.”

After a few minutes of incredibly sensitive massage and putting his hands all over my chest, back, sides and shoulders, he tried to speak.  He stared at my chest, but wouldn’t look me in the eyes.

He didn’t have to.  I was trying to follow the toilets’ advice and trying to read anything that was coming off of this ‘connection’ with Casey.  As he was trying to speak, but yet just looking at my chest, I got a very slight and distant feeling from him.  And even though it was distant and faint, I immediately recognized it.

It was the word.  The word that makes the world go ‘round.  The word that makes people go crazy.  Crazy for each other.  Makes them do crazy things.  Breaks people’s hearts.  And makes others’ jump for joy.  It was love.  No doubt about it.  He had already uttered those three little words to me earlier, but I now I was understanding what he was going through.

There was another word that was very faint and barely readable through this connection that was forming between us.  It was a word that represented why he couldn’t look at me, why he was confused (in a way) and why he had just kept massaging me instead of taking the next logical step.

Author note:  “HMMM!!!??”  I wonder what that could be? J

If it was anything, I was usually socially inept.  I was so happy that I was already great friends with Matt, as he understood my shortcomings.  Hopefully this would be the last of my ineptness, if that’s even a word!  I had to kiss him, but I didn’t know how!  It was one of those silly hopeless-romantic things I wanted.  “Let’s seal our love with a kiss.”  Make up some soppy line or story about how perfect our relationship should be and blah blah blah.  I did want the perfect relationship.  But, I always feared if I did the wrong thing, that I would lose Matt.  And since I had just ‘gained’ him that night, I didn’t want to take chances.  But then again, I should take some chances…….shouldn’t I?!  I was so confused!

Even though I was concentrating on him, and the incredibly hot nature of this moment of ours together, I was still trying to read him.  I started to hear a faint voice.  Not just the words, but the actual voice.  It was strange.  Hearing it seemed very familiar, and yet not familiar at the same time.  “Matt.  Matt.   I…..” the voice trailed off.  It was Casey, of course.  I couldn’t help but be a bit freaked out by hearing him in my mind, yet he was sitting just inches from me and he wasn’t saying a word aloud.

“I.   I.    I………lo……..” the voice tried to continue.  I thought to myself, “come on, you can do it!  I love you too!”

And then, the real words came.  Casey stopped his massage and his hands gently made their way to my shoulders.

“Matt.   Matt.  I really.  Really.  I just want.”  I couldn’t do it.  Something wouldn’t release inside me.  Just say it damn it……..and look at him!

He still wasn’t looking at me.  But he was trying.  “You must help him.  You are his strength,” came the advice of my porcelain friends.

So, I did something that I had wanted to do for a while.  I gently put my hands around him and moved them down to his cute little rear.  I gave him a little bit of a tug and he helped me out by pushing himself closer to me on the bed.  Our chests were nearly six inches apart.  Our faces even closer.

A faint voice again called my mind, and it was mixed with crying.  “Oh my god you’re so hot!  I can’t believe I’m so close to you.  I want to touch you so bad!  I don’t know wha…….”   I was amazed that I could hear the voice since it was so distant, and especially through the ‘tears’.

I saw the wetness on his face, and I started crying inside.  This was really a night of emotions.  I had cried so much since Duane had left.  I suppose I had closure on that now, I didn’t really think much of him anymore, in a relationship way anyways.  I still loved him as a friend, but we didn’t have much contact nowadays.  My contact now was Casey.  My future was Casey.  And my present, was Casey.

I moved my hands up and brought Casey’s face up from his downward-looking glance.  He hadn’t turned on the spigots yet, but I knew it was coming.  More than the last time, which was not that long ago.

I placed my hands behind his neck.  His pretty little eyes looked right into mine.  I could see him trying to gather himself up.  It was amazing how much you could read someone by their eyes when you are so close to them.  I needed to help him out, but I wanted him to make the actual move.

“Casey?”

Faint again, but they started coming in right before he was to say them.  Very helpful.  It was like a preview of what was inside his mind that he wanted to say.  “Matt?” I heard.

And then, the real thing: “Matt?”

“Casey?”

“Matt?  I.   I…….”

“It’s ok.  I’m here.  You’re here.  We’re here.  I’m not going anywhere.”

“Matt,  I.  You have to know…….   I want to do this…….”

“Casey, it’s ok.  Just let it go.  Just go with it.”

“Matt,”

And then it was in perfect sync, and we said the words together.  I heard them in my mind and I heard them from Casey and I heard them from myself.  It was like a choir, of three words.

“I love you.”  I saw all the confusion leave his expression and his eyes as he said it.  We were both staring into each other’s eyes at that point.  The first time of many such times to come in our relationship.

He said it!  He said it back to me right as I way saying it!  I loved him so much, and I was so in love with him I thought my heart would blow up!  I started to whimper a bit, but not outright cry.  My eyes teared up as drops came running down my face.

And, I just went with what I felt.  I knew what I wanted, and he was so patient and reassuring with me.  I did what I had watched so many times in romantic movies, tv shows and what I read about.  I leaned forward and watched his eyes close as mine did the same.  As I leaned in, I turned my face ever so slightly to the right.  And my lips touched to my dream boy’s lips for the first time.  In fact, it was the first time I had ever kissed a boy.  I couldn’t think of anything better in life.

He was so sensual and passionate about this first kiss, it was so adorable!  He leaned in and we closed our eyes.  I realized he had never done this before, but he soon started exploring.  As his lips met mine for the first time, our connection grew just a bit in volume.  I could feel some of the stronger raw emotions that he was feeling.  All I could feel was intense joy.  I would have been overloaded with it should it have been the real deal, but luckily the connection was still pretty weak.  My own tears of happiness that had welled up began falling down my face.

I wrapped my arms around his back to draw him closer to me.  Electric jolts shot through me as our bare chests met for the first time.  His smooth, strong, swimmer’s torso felt so sensual when it touched to mine that I almost came right there, but somehow, I didn’t.  I started to make small kisses on his lips and moved out around his face.  My heart skipped another beat as I felt the tears streaming down his face.  We were both a bunch of over-emotional sissy boys! J I could feel his warm breath on my face.  That was another first.  I almost didn’t expect it, but I loved it.  I felt that I could just breathe him into me and hold onto him forever.  This was so intimate, and I felt so perfectly connected to Matt.  I think I had reached a whole new definition of heaven.

After kissing me everywhere, he started licking gently.  Not terribly sloppily or anything, but just gently exploring my face.  I was in ecstasy with this boy having his way with me.  But now I wanted to have a little way of mine with him.  I fingered and massaged his neck and part of his face with my hands as I brought them from behind his neck.  I gently guided his lips back to mine and, this time, I kissed him full on.

I pulled back from him just for a moment.  I whispered, “I bet you’ve been dreaming of doing this for a long time!”  One look in his eyes told me a most definite “yes.”  I gently pulled him back in towards me and brought his lips to mine.  I pushed my tongue outward as I opened my mouth a bit.  I pushed a bit on his mouth…..

“Here it comes,” I thought.  “The real thing!”  I could feel Matt’s tongue on my lips.  I wasn’t sure what to do exactly, so I opened my mouth to let it in.  As his tongue entered my mouth, it met my own tongue and I had never felt so grossed out and yet turned on at the same time.  I think everyone experiences that during their first time.  It didn’t last long though.  I had been dreaming of deeply kissing Matt for it seemed, well, forever!

But I wanted more than that now.  I wanted to feel his body against mine, his dick rubbing against mine through his underwear, and I wanted to kiss him until our mouths dried up.

I made sure I had a good grip on his body, by lowering my hands down his sides.  I pushed him and myself down onto the bed, all the while with my tongue having ‘mouth sex’ with his own tongue.  Matt got the hint very quickly, it seemed.

I wasn’t expecting him to push us over, and I quickly grabbed the covers and sheets so we would be nice and warm.  I pulled them over us and continued our passionate make-out session.  I withdrew my tongue back into my own mouth, and his followed closely behind.

I felt him taking his tongue out, and I pushed my way into his mouth as I started to play with his tongue on it own ‘turf.’

As I swabbed at the interior of his mouth, I felt it all.  And our tongues fought back and forth in a frenzy.  All the while, I was in a state of sexual frenzy, seemingly ready to explode at any moment, but I didn’t.  We breathed each other in, felt up each other’s bodies, ground our dicks against each other and constantly tried to squeeze each other’s bodies tighter.  I didn’t know just how hot making out could be.  I also didn’t know how exhausting it could be as well.

I pulled him closer as I started to feel a loss of energy, but he kept on kissing and tonguing me.  I had never had such a hot make-out session with any other boy I had been with.  I truly felt in love with Casey now.  Knowing everything about him from the toilets and knowing where we were going, I was living inside a ‘perfect moment’ in time.  I wanted it to last forever.  Sadly, nature took over and we slowly fell asleep, with our arms wrapped around each other’s nearly-naked bodies.  As I fell asleep, the feelings I was getting from Casey were just a bit brighter in nature and volume.  He was content.  There were no other emotions.  Just neutral, it seemed.  I couldn’t wait for ‘The Event’ to take place so I could tell him everything and not hold back.

I wondered if I could drop any hints about ‘everything’ along the way?  “Very few and far between, just enough to make him think.  Eventually, he’ll know what’s up and he’ll follow through on what he has to do.  You’ve already known that he’s the one for you.  But, he will find out that you are the one for him and that he isn’t alone anymore.  It will be beyond love for both of you.”  I couldn’t wait to find out what that meant.